There are numerous tactics, ways of thinking, behavioral patterns, and practical advice for improving your life and feeling better about yourself, but they are all useless unless the foundation is in place. That basis is the true you, the you that you know deep inside. The problem is that finding it and bringing out who you are demands confidence — here are the two elements to true inner confidence.
- Get To Know Your Values
Personal values are a significant interest of mine, and I frequently get carried away when I talk about them. I make no apologies for this – they are one of the most significant things you can learn about yourself and are essential for developing genuine inner confidence. Your values are ten thousand feet down inside you, down at the heart of who you are; and they serve as the building blocks, foundations, and cornerstones for you. A value is something essential to you in yourself, others, or the world, and might include things like beliefs, progress, family, fun, nature, achievement, or freedom.
Why do some individuals and situations make you angry, frustrated, demotivated, or deflated? It’s because one or more of your values are being denied, suppressed, or repressed – and we interpret this as a negative experience since it denies a core part of who you are. Do you recall occasions when you felt truly alive, wonderful, or buzzing? Those are the instances when one or more of your values are honored, and you may increase your chances of getting more of them by living according to them.
Your values are entirely yours, and no one can ever take them away from you. You can have complete trust in them since they are always present, just waiting for you to notice and use them. When you understand your beliefs, you can begin to decide and live your life in accordance with them. It’s so simple, yet it feels so good because all it really means is that you’re letting yourself be who you are in the actual world.
- Exercise the Muscle
Confidence is like a muscle, and like all muscle, it must be exercised so as to stay from shrinking and atrophy. The thing is that, unlike your biceps and glutes, which tend to stay within an equivalent spot, your confidence muscle might be difficult to locate. How does one work on your biceps and glutes? By performing workouts designed to figure that muscle over time until you achieve the specified outcomes.
It’s just an equivalent confidently. Let’s say that you’re the type of person who doesn’t take many risks, the type of one that goes through every day doing what must be done and doing it well, but not really stretching yourself. You might talk yourself out of doing something because it’s too scary or because you think that to yourself ‘I’m not ok,’ ‘that’s not who I am’ or ‘I don’t actually need it anyway.’ that sort of person lives within what they know and what keeps them safe and cozy. The fewer risks they take, the less confident they have to be then the less confident they become.
To work your confidence muscle you would like to be prepared to take risks – big or small. You would like to stretch yourself in an unfamiliar direction, undertake something new, or try something slightly different. You would like to open yourself up to the changes around you and push yourself to extend what you recognize, what you’re doing, and who you are. The more open you’re to risk, opportunity, and possibility the more confident you would like to be, then the more confidence you’ll develop. That’s your confidence muscle – the question is, what are you getting to do to exercise it?”